If I were a creature from another planet, and I wanted to learn about human men, I wouldn’t read our literature or study our television programs. I would hang out in public restrooms, because that’s where shit is the most real.
Men are more vulnerable than they let on. Human males avoid eye-contact and conversation in public restrooms. The shame of it is sad, but the mutuality of it and the empathy it breeds are rare and beautiful.
Multitasking is irrefutably real. With mobile devices, people get shit done while getting shit done.
Beliefs are irrational. Despite parental guidance, early intervention via health classes, public health education campaigns, universal personal experience with contagious disease, ubiquitous signage, and disgusted girlfriends everywhere, the vast majority of men still do not wash their hands when using the bathroom.
The 80/20 rule is instinctive. 80% of the urine makes it to the urinal 20% of the time. 20% of the urine makes it to the urinal 80% of the time.
Hypocrisy is the rule, not the exception. A defecating man can be defiling every molecule of breathable air in a bathroom, and if a second man enters the restroom to use a neti-pot, the defecating man will sneer at the net-pot-using man for violating the sanctity of the public restroom.